I really feel bad..

I already heard from lots of people how stressed they were after graduating without a job...

You know pressure and stuff..

But it's not like it's hard for me to look for a job..

It's just.. honestly it's between scared and lazy..

I felt anxious the whole day because I know I really have to show up for this rare opportunity..

So I ended up coming..




I've experienced rejection before and wasting efforts by trying to approach people before..

I just that was traumatic for me?

But this time.. I'm just glad it went well..




The thing is.. I'm not sure.. I still feel uneasy...

(..and of all things I was able to watch a show full of intimidating peeps.)





I've only realized this now..

I have this fear of scary people..

I'm scared of being lectured in a rude way or just even encountering an intimidating person..

I might just cry..

I just can't tell this to everyone since I already know what am I to hear..

Like it's a way to make me stronger and such..




I don't know if I'd soon feel good as I continue to work there..

But I really hope I would..

Happy Birthday!

I'm not as good as you when it comes to writing such things..
I can't put my words properly together but I hope you understand.. Please don't expect too much.. XD

You've always done this for me, messages and stuff to cheer me up..
I thought I'll give it a try this year..

Anyway, as you've said, it's that time of the year again..
I still remember that poem you wrote around the same time a few years ago..
I hope this year isn't too bad as that..
I know good and bad things will keep on coming..
I just wish for the better this year.. 

I've been too much busy these past few months and I really appreciated your efforts.. (You, Jonafe and Cha)
You may not be able to send me messages to cheer up from time to time but being there after it was all finished already meant a lot to me..
I am really thankful for just being there even after so many days without talking.. the fact that nothing changes is a lot more meaningful to me than sending me lots of messages (Although a birthday treat would mean WAAAAY LOOOOOT MOOOORE!! JK)

You see, I've been through a lot since the beginning of this year.. and so do you..
We could just hope we could make it through all of these right?
Let's do our best!

Thank you for this year!
Happy Birthday!